i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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