Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Randomize
