Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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