We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
