So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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