What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
i believe in u and ur pee
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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