I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
