is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
