Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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