ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
