Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
