am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
