Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
