trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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