Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
