I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
