he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
