New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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