Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize