i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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