my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
