Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
