Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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