So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
