At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
