Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
