Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
