Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
