I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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