I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
