the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
