So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
