it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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