The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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