At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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