can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
