I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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