i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Shame - the story of my life.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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