I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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