Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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