oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize