my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
