would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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