Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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