hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize