a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
