She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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