Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
