I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
