things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
