I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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