Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
