Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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