what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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