you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
40s are totally the cure
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
