im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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