you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize