i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
