dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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