I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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