If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
